So it only took until September, but I'm finally making my first post of 2012... Oops.
I forgot that I kind of enjoy writing for fun, so hopefully this is the first of more frequent updates. They are pretty interesting to read back.
Where to start? With the obvious of course. I've spent the last year eating, sleeping and breathing BABY! I cannot believe he will be a year old tomorrow. Everyone says it passes by in the blink of an eye and that is honestly what it feels like. Life before Aiden doesn't seem to exist anymore. He is the most amazing little person. It's been so much fun watching him grow and learn things, all while me and his dad have been growing and learning too!
At one year... Aiden is pretty much walking. He can make it across a room, but then either giggles or loses balance and reverts to crawling. I may be in denial, but I'm still not saying he's "officially" walking. Aiden is a picky eater (no idea where he got that from) if it's chunky, he's not interested. We like all the baby foods, string cheese, Cheerios, yogurt, graham crackers... But when it comes to "real" people food, we are not yet a fan. He didn't even want his birthday cake!!! I'm sure that will change in time though! Aiden has 3 teeth and he's working on the 4th. He still says three words - mama, dada and car, and sometimes what we think is dog. His laugh is the most infectious sound in the world. He is super ticklish (again, don't know where he got that from). He's between 12 and 18 month clothes and in size 4 diapers. Aiden is without a doubt the most amazing and precious gift I could have ever been blessed with.
On a personal note, I also made the whole breastfeeding thing work for 12 long months. I'm extremely proud of that accomplishment, but I'm also super excited for copious amounts of caffeine, margaritas, Victoria's Secret and prescription drugs!
There are not enough hours in the day to spend with my little man, but I know he's happy, and we're all doing the best we can. Maybe someday I'll be in a position where I can stay home with him, but I have a feeling with the toddler years now upon us... Breaks away from the home might not be such a bad thing! I thought the first year kept me busy... And I know there is going to be SO much more ahead, good and bad, to look forward to. But all in all, I'm very happy. And that's the best place to be.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Friday, December 30, 2011
2011 Highlights
With only a few exceptions, 2011 was a pretty great year. Here are some of the highlights (too many to fit in a status update):
No resolutions for 2012, just going to watch my little guy grow and see what life has in store for me next!
- Spent 3/4 of the year pregnant
- Welcomed my sweet baby boy into the world
- Took a 3 month vacation in my living room
- Experienced a miracle
- Felt literally every emotion possible, multiple times
- Started a new job in a new building
- Made new friends; strengthened bonds with old ones; and said goodbye to others
- Gained and lost 45 lbs
- Chopped off my hair
- Watched my sister get married to a great guy
- First ever overnight stay at a hospital
- Shed more tears in one year than I have in probably the last 5
- Let myself take risks and spoke my mind
- Laughed every day; found humor in things I never thought I would
- Renewed my passion for life and love
No resolutions for 2012, just going to watch my little guy grow and see what life has in store for me next!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Do I Have To??
The last three months have been spent smooching chubby baby cheeks, trying to get laughs by making silly faces and sounds, play dates, snuggling and essentially being at baby's beck and call 24x7. A never ending to-do list and continued lack of sleep keeps me on my toes. Baby continues to grow (12 lbs, 14.5 oz and 24" tall at his 2 month check up) and learns new things every day.
On Thursday I go back to work.
While a part of me is looking forward to reconnecting with friends and adults in general... I'm dreading not getting to stare at Aiden's little face for those 40 hours a week. I've teared up every time I've thought about it over the last week or so, and now it's really close. I'm packing up stuff I know he'll need at day care, trying to figure out what I'm going to wear the first day back to work (knowing all eyes will check out where that baby bump used to be) and hoping I'll remember how to speak to other working professionals without slipping into baby-speak.
So I guess I just need to figure out how to be ok with doing it all. Have to work to provide for my baby's future... pay the bills, get to do fun stuff like baby music class and all of the things he's going to want to do when he gets older. I think it's the right thing for me (even my grandma thinks so), but it's going to be extremely emotional. Here's hoping I get through the first day in one piece!
Other randomness...
At 12 weeks old Aiden smiles, laughs, coos and drools, follows and bats at objects, is starting to grasp toys, can do a mini push-up on his tummy and is gaining better control over his head and neck. He kicks like crazy and can support his weight on his legs with some help from mom or dad. He's started sleeping longer/better since he moved into his crib. He loves his giraffe, Christmas lights, the penguin mural in his room and that cutie who stares back at him in the mirror.
I love, love, love my baby and he's truly priority #1. I had a dream last night that our house was hit by a tornado and I dove into the crib over top of the baby and we were spun outside and landed on the ground. I broke just about every bone in my body, but the baby was safe and sound... then we got to be on Ellen... lol. Maybe I have been watching too much daytime tv...
Could you deprive this face of anything?
On Thursday I go back to work.
While a part of me is looking forward to reconnecting with friends and adults in general... I'm dreading not getting to stare at Aiden's little face for those 40 hours a week. I've teared up every time I've thought about it over the last week or so, and now it's really close. I'm packing up stuff I know he'll need at day care, trying to figure out what I'm going to wear the first day back to work (knowing all eyes will check out where that baby bump used to be) and hoping I'll remember how to speak to other working professionals without slipping into baby-speak.
So I guess I just need to figure out how to be ok with doing it all. Have to work to provide for my baby's future... pay the bills, get to do fun stuff like baby music class and all of the things he's going to want to do when he gets older. I think it's the right thing for me (even my grandma thinks so), but it's going to be extremely emotional. Here's hoping I get through the first day in one piece!
Other randomness...
At 12 weeks old Aiden smiles, laughs, coos and drools, follows and bats at objects, is starting to grasp toys, can do a mini push-up on his tummy and is gaining better control over his head and neck. He kicks like crazy and can support his weight on his legs with some help from mom or dad. He's started sleeping longer/better since he moved into his crib. He loves his giraffe, Christmas lights, the penguin mural in his room and that cutie who stares back at him in the mirror.
I love, love, love my baby and he's truly priority #1. I had a dream last night that our house was hit by a tornado and I dove into the crib over top of the baby and we were spun outside and landed on the ground. I broke just about every bone in my body, but the baby was safe and sound... then we got to be on Ellen... lol. Maybe I have been watching too much daytime tv...
Could you deprive this face of anything?
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Is that Blood on the Baby? No... It's Jello
I really can't begin to describe all the changes to life in the last nearly three weeks. But I'm going to hit the highlights...
Breastfeeding. It sucks. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Sure, it's free, but it's very inconvenient and it hurts!! I've officially lost count as to how many people have seen my... well you know. I've also been compared to a cow... but at least they're a lot more impressive to look at!
EVERY thing is harder. Today I learned to put on makeup with my left hand while cradling/feeding the baby at the same time. My 20-minute morning showers are a thing of the past. Getting out of the house takes at least twice as long. Eating is a whole new challenge. If it's a one-handed meal that's not messy, I can handle it, but if it's not... (queue blog title) red jello on the baby... oops =)
I miss sleep. I took sleep for granted. I haven't slept for more than a 4 hour block in 18 days. And it hurts. It takes a lot of sleep to keep up my typical energy level. Yuck. It'll get better, but I didn't realize how much I needed those 9 hours! What I wouldn't give for just one night...
Best diet ever. Have a baby, lose some weight! I've already lost nearly 30 pounds. Can even zip up my pre-pregnancy jeans... but they definitely don't fit by any means.
Bodily functions. Happened much quicker than I expected. I've been pooped and peed on and it doesn't even phase me. This one surprised me. Now I cheer when my baby poops - go figure!
Insane worry. I worried about a lot of stuff before, but now being solely responsible for an 8 lb infant... wow. Responsibility kinda sky-rocketed out of control. I worry about him more at night than any other time. I'm still afraid I'm not going to wake up if he needs me. He's having some choking spells after feedings - sometimes up to 40 minutes after he's done. THAT is scary. Not sure what's causing it yet, might still be learning how to breathe... tricky business that breathing.
Love. Unconditional, love at first sight, stronger than anything I've ever felt before in my life love. So completely happy, lucky, grateful, fulfilled... yay!
Breastfeeding. It sucks. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Sure, it's free, but it's very inconvenient and it hurts!! I've officially lost count as to how many people have seen my... well you know. I've also been compared to a cow... but at least they're a lot more impressive to look at!
EVERY thing is harder. Today I learned to put on makeup with my left hand while cradling/feeding the baby at the same time. My 20-minute morning showers are a thing of the past. Getting out of the house takes at least twice as long. Eating is a whole new challenge. If it's a one-handed meal that's not messy, I can handle it, but if it's not... (queue blog title) red jello on the baby... oops =)
I miss sleep. I took sleep for granted. I haven't slept for more than a 4 hour block in 18 days. And it hurts. It takes a lot of sleep to keep up my typical energy level. Yuck. It'll get better, but I didn't realize how much I needed those 9 hours! What I wouldn't give for just one night...
Best diet ever. Have a baby, lose some weight! I've already lost nearly 30 pounds. Can even zip up my pre-pregnancy jeans... but they definitely don't fit by any means.
Bodily functions. Happened much quicker than I expected. I've been pooped and peed on and it doesn't even phase me. This one surprised me. Now I cheer when my baby poops - go figure!
Insane worry. I worried about a lot of stuff before, but now being solely responsible for an 8 lb infant... wow. Responsibility kinda sky-rocketed out of control. I worry about him more at night than any other time. I'm still afraid I'm not going to wake up if he needs me. He's having some choking spells after feedings - sometimes up to 40 minutes after he's done. THAT is scary. Not sure what's causing it yet, might still be learning how to breathe... tricky business that breathing.
Love. Unconditional, love at first sight, stronger than anything I've ever felt before in my life love. So completely happy, lucky, grateful, fulfilled... yay!
How could you not love that face?
Watch out, he might have gotten some of my charming personality traits... looks like he's up to something! ;)
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Baby Aiden is Here!!!
He's here!!! And if I do say so myself, he is absolutely perfect. He's cute as a button and totally healthy. I know an update is long overdue, so let's start at the beginning!
I went in to be induced on Saturday the 3rd. The first drug they gave me was supposed to take 12 hours to work, but instead it worked too well and they pulled me off of that at only five hours. I got a little bit of sleep and they came in to start the petocin at 2 a.m. The petocin worked really well too and they had to keep decreasing the amount I was given because contractions were consistently two minutes apart and the intensity was picking up. There was some concern with the baby's heartbeat because it decreased every time I got out of bed - so they flipped me from side to side and kept a real close eye on us. Later that morning I got the epidural (total non-event by the way - the botched IV I got hurt way worse). However at about 7 cm dialated, the epidural wore off on the left side of my body and I felt every minute and a half contraction for close to 30 minutes. I bawled my eyes out - they hurt so bad. So they upped my drugs to the max and from there it was smooth sailing. I did some "practice pushes" once I got to 10 cm, because they thought I wouldn't be able to push with all the drugs, but apparently "I'm a natural" - lol. My doctor almost didn't make it and we had to skip a few contractions. Baby was out in about 30 minutes. The whole process took around 23 hours - which for an induction is pretty good I guess. I think there was some scary stuff that happened with the umbilical cord when he was born that nobody told me about, but I plan to ask some questions at my 6 week checkup. So was it as bad as I thought? Short answer - nope. The amount of responsibility that came once he was born is about a billion times more scary.
Since then it's been all about baby! The first night home was rough. Having only gotten about 7 hours of sleep in the previous 3 nights - I was getting a bit irrational (still am one week later...). The nights are the worst because I'm so worried that something will happen to him while I'm sleeping. I do wake up at every little sound, but I spend a good portion of the day sobbing about whether or not he's going to be ok. Everything checked out at the pediatrician and he really is perfectly healthy, but wow I didn't realize how much I'd worry - like seriously... But he's eating well, sleeping in spells around the clock and going through a whole lotta diapers!
I was also worried about not having any nicknames for him, but I've already come up with a few - Mr. Stinky, Baby A, Mr. Bobblehead, Blue Eyes, Squirmy.....
But Aiden is the sweetest most precious thing ever and I am so so glad he's finally here. I've still got a lot of hormones to flush out of my system, but I already love him more than anything ever. He's a piece of me - all the best parts.
I went in to be induced on Saturday the 3rd. The first drug they gave me was supposed to take 12 hours to work, but instead it worked too well and they pulled me off of that at only five hours. I got a little bit of sleep and they came in to start the petocin at 2 a.m. The petocin worked really well too and they had to keep decreasing the amount I was given because contractions were consistently two minutes apart and the intensity was picking up. There was some concern with the baby's heartbeat because it decreased every time I got out of bed - so they flipped me from side to side and kept a real close eye on us. Later that morning I got the epidural (total non-event by the way - the botched IV I got hurt way worse). However at about 7 cm dialated, the epidural wore off on the left side of my body and I felt every minute and a half contraction for close to 30 minutes. I bawled my eyes out - they hurt so bad. So they upped my drugs to the max and from there it was smooth sailing. I did some "practice pushes" once I got to 10 cm, because they thought I wouldn't be able to push with all the drugs, but apparently "I'm a natural" - lol. My doctor almost didn't make it and we had to skip a few contractions. Baby was out in about 30 minutes. The whole process took around 23 hours - which for an induction is pretty good I guess. I think there was some scary stuff that happened with the umbilical cord when he was born that nobody told me about, but I plan to ask some questions at my 6 week checkup. So was it as bad as I thought? Short answer - nope. The amount of responsibility that came once he was born is about a billion times more scary.
Since then it's been all about baby! The first night home was rough. Having only gotten about 7 hours of sleep in the previous 3 nights - I was getting a bit irrational (still am one week later...). The nights are the worst because I'm so worried that something will happen to him while I'm sleeping. I do wake up at every little sound, but I spend a good portion of the day sobbing about whether or not he's going to be ok. Everything checked out at the pediatrician and he really is perfectly healthy, but wow I didn't realize how much I'd worry - like seriously... But he's eating well, sleeping in spells around the clock and going through a whole lotta diapers!
I was also worried about not having any nicknames for him, but I've already come up with a few - Mr. Stinky, Baby A, Mr. Bobblehead, Blue Eyes, Squirmy.....
But Aiden is the sweetest most precious thing ever and I am so so glad he's finally here. I've still got a lot of hormones to flush out of my system, but I already love him more than anything ever. He's a piece of me - all the best parts.
Striking a Pose! Totally my kid. =)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Longest.Week.Ever.
In less than 48 hours I'll start the induction process to have this baby.
Knowing this is both a good and a bad thing. Good for obvious reasons - I know at some point this weekend I'll be holding my baby in my arms. Bad because I know the labor part is coming, and that's all I can think about... it's been a REALLY long week. I did some google research and scared the crap out of myself reading other people's induction stories. Work is wrapping up so that's not a real good distraction anymore either. And everywhere I go people ask me about it. Some random dude at Wal-Mart asked me if I was "smuggling in a basketball." Ha. Yeah, clearly that's what I'm doing!
I am a little nervous about how having a baby is going to change me. Priorities, lifestyle, etc. Again, goes back to the whole "having no idea what to expect." I'm sure it'll be fine, just have to get there...
I will point out that not only am I working up to the day before I get induced, I still take the stairs AND do the laundry. I am woman - hear me roar. =)
Overall I am crazy excited. And hey I'll have my own stories and advice to blog about by the time it's all said and done. Ya know, in all the free time I'll have between changing diapers and feeding. =P I'm told there's not much... who knew!? Regardless, next post will include baby pictures!! Wish me luck!
Knowing this is both a good and a bad thing. Good for obvious reasons - I know at some point this weekend I'll be holding my baby in my arms. Bad because I know the labor part is coming, and that's all I can think about... it's been a REALLY long week. I did some google research and scared the crap out of myself reading other people's induction stories. Work is wrapping up so that's not a real good distraction anymore either. And everywhere I go people ask me about it. Some random dude at Wal-Mart asked me if I was "smuggling in a basketball." Ha. Yeah, clearly that's what I'm doing!
I am a little nervous about how having a baby is going to change me. Priorities, lifestyle, etc. Again, goes back to the whole "having no idea what to expect." I'm sure it'll be fine, just have to get there...
I will point out that not only am I working up to the day before I get induced, I still take the stairs AND do the laundry. I am woman - hear me roar. =)
Overall I am crazy excited. And hey I'll have my own stories and advice to blog about by the time it's all said and done. Ya know, in all the free time I'll have between changing diapers and feeding. =P I'm told there's not much... who knew!? Regardless, next post will include baby pictures!! Wish me luck!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Confession Time
Since I almost literally can't think about anything other than this baby.... here's a confession.
I am absolutely freaking out about the actual "having the baby" part of the process. Forget not knowing what to do with the baby once he gets here - that I'm confident I'll figure out... but I keep having dreams and day dreams about an emergency c-section because the baby's too big or that something goes wrong during the delivery. It occurred to me today (as I was crying the entire drive home from the doctor's office), that this is the scariest part to me. I have no real idea of what to expect and it's the whole - fear of the unknown thing. Plus, the fact that it could happen at any time without any real warning also freaks me out.
The most invasive procedure I've ever had done is getting my wisdom teeth out - and I can't even imagine that child birth compares. I'm a total wimp - that's no secret. I will whole-heartedly say YES to the drugs when they're offered. But I have no idea what to expect. I'm in some serious physical pain as it is with my pelvic bone stretching out (TMI?) And to think about how much worse that pain is going to get???
So there it is... I'm a big chicken and I'm really really scared! I should find out tomorrow what day I'll be induced if I don't go on my own before... but still - that's about two weeks from now. And I'm not ready for it!! I get that people have been doing this since the beginning of time... but I wasn't one of them! Gah!!!! :-(
I am absolutely freaking out about the actual "having the baby" part of the process. Forget not knowing what to do with the baby once he gets here - that I'm confident I'll figure out... but I keep having dreams and day dreams about an emergency c-section because the baby's too big or that something goes wrong during the delivery. It occurred to me today (as I was crying the entire drive home from the doctor's office), that this is the scariest part to me. I have no real idea of what to expect and it's the whole - fear of the unknown thing. Plus, the fact that it could happen at any time without any real warning also freaks me out.
The most invasive procedure I've ever had done is getting my wisdom teeth out - and I can't even imagine that child birth compares. I'm a total wimp - that's no secret. I will whole-heartedly say YES to the drugs when they're offered. But I have no idea what to expect. I'm in some serious physical pain as it is with my pelvic bone stretching out (TMI?) And to think about how much worse that pain is going to get???
So there it is... I'm a big chicken and I'm really really scared! I should find out tomorrow what day I'll be induced if I don't go on my own before... but still - that's about two weeks from now. And I'm not ready for it!! I get that people have been doing this since the beginning of time... but I wasn't one of them! Gah!!!! :-(
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