Since I almost literally can't think about anything other than this baby.... here's a confession.
I am absolutely freaking out about the actual "having the baby" part of the process. Forget not knowing what to do with the baby once he gets here - that I'm confident I'll figure out... but I keep having dreams and day dreams about an emergency c-section because the baby's too big or that something goes wrong during the delivery. It occurred to me today (as I was crying the entire drive home from the doctor's office), that this is the scariest part to me. I have no real idea of what to expect and it's the whole - fear of the unknown thing. Plus, the fact that it could happen at any time without any real warning also freaks me out.
The most invasive procedure I've ever had done is getting my wisdom teeth out - and I can't even imagine that child birth compares. I'm a total wimp - that's no secret. I will whole-heartedly say YES to the drugs when they're offered. But I have no idea what to expect. I'm in some serious physical pain as it is with my pelvic bone stretching out (TMI?) And to think about how much worse that pain is going to get???
So there it is... I'm a big chicken and I'm really really scared! I should find out tomorrow what day I'll be induced if I don't go on my own before... but still - that's about two weeks from now. And I'm not ready for it!! I get that people have been doing this since the beginning of time... but I wasn't one of them! Gah!!!! :-(
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