One year ago, our family lost our home. The "things" we'd worked so hard to obtain. Two cars, the vast majority of our worldly possessions... the "things" we'd collected over 30 years. The "things" that helped to define our lives and made our house a home.
Gone. In 60 seconds or less.
A year ago this mattered immensely. Everything that made us comfortable was taken from us. Stolen from us. We didn't have coats, or shoes. For a brief moment in time we felt what it was like to be homeless. To feel shattered and broken. Because our house truly was.
It hurt for a long time. We worked quickly. Bought new cars, went Black Friday shopping 6 days after a c-section to have clothes to wear through the winter months. Replaced the things that would make us feel the most human.
For the next six months, I was scared. Of everything. I kept waiting for another storm. I kept expecting something to happen to our daughter, born too early. I imagined the worst case scenario for every situation in the shower as I was preparing to start my day. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
This fear was overwhelming. It impacted every aspect of our lives. Until one day my husband pointed out that we were fine. Things were back to "normal." We were back on track, and prepared. The panic attacks began to fade. And slowly, we moved on.
Our daughter Brynn is truly our "hope". She is the happiest baby, and so easy going - like her dad. In her almost one year with us, she's had an ear infection and a couple cases of the sniffles since being out of the NICU. Her health is an amazing blessing. Her first 30 days were traumatic, but you'd never know it. She's crawling and standing and eating anything and everything we put in front of her. She's chunky and smiley and so so so incredibly loved.
Aiden is constantly chattering about something. He's outgoing and so full of energy. He makes friends anywhere he goes. His mood can turn on a dime of course - he gets that passion from his mother. But he is sweet and loving and kind.
I often think about how I'll tell my kids about the experience that will end up shaping so much of their young lives. Neither of them remember it right now, much less understand it. But someday, we will share the pictures and stories we remember of the day our family survived a direct hit by an EF4 Tornado. How we crawled out the basement window and saw what was left of our home... But what I look forward to sharing with them is our story of hope. Of friends and family and community. Those of you who were there that day, or in the days, weeks or months that followed... Thank you. We can never repay you for the love and kindness you showed to us. But we will pay it forward every chance we get.
We didn't lose the "things" that matter most. We gained a new perspective on life, love and family.
There's a line in one of my son's Pete the Cat books that jumps out at me every time I read it.... "I guess it just goes to show that stuff will come and stuff will go. But do we cry? Goodness no. We keep on singing..."
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Brynn's Birth Story
Early in my pregnancy with Brynn one of the blood tests I had done came back showing that I had some antibodies that weren't supposed to be there. It's complicated, but my blood is Rh Negative which usually just requires a rhogam shot during and after each pregnancy, which I had with Aiden. However, we think too much of my blood mixed with Aiden's during his birth and as a result I developed these antibodies.
So normally this is no big deal, but I had two of them - Big C and d. Chad was also positive for them, so we ended up with frequent visits to a specialist at Maternal Fetal. Every other week I had my blood drawn to see what levels the antibodies were. The opposite weeks were spent getting detailed sonograms. The main concern with these antibodies is that the baby could become anemic. If the baby becomes too anemic she is at risk for hydrops - or heart failure. She would have to receive a blood transfusion in utero if this were the case. The sonos measured the blood volume in her brain and also looked for puffiness of her body, particularly her chest - both strong indicators of anemia.
The antibodies are measured in a ratio. One of mine stayed low throughout, but the other, Big C, kept gradually increasing. At one visit, I believe somewhere around 29 weeks, Brynn's blood volume spiked over the normal level. We waited the weekend, but it was still high when I went back in. That day I had an amniocentesis done. This test - involving a stupidly large needle in my uterus - showed us that Brynn had the Big C antigen too, and her risk level for becoming anemic was in "Zone 2." Zone 1 was low risk, Zone 3 was, "we have a problem." So, no action at this point, we were bumped up to twice a week sonos and told we'd do multiple amnios to see if she was getting better or worse. At that point we were still optimistic that it wouldn't be an issue. My antibody titers (the ratio that measures the antibodies) were still relatively low at 1:128.
Then the unthinkable. Chad, Aiden and I survived an EF4 tornado by huddling in a corner of our basement. Talk about unmaking all of our plans and all of the hard work that we had put into making that house our home... But that was another blog.
I had the baby checked out the next day since I had taken a couple falls getting through the debris. Luckily, the baby seemed fine so we went about filing insurance claims and trying to rebuild our lives.
The next day, I had a sono scheduled. We went in and saw that the blood volume had again spiked. Another amino, this time one that our dr had rushed the results for. In a somber tone, he announced to Chad and I that Brynn's risk factor had jumped significantly into Zone 3. Showing us that there was definitely a problem, and that it wasn't getting better. We were told that our baby would be here within the next 10 days - we were past the point of doing a blood transfusion in utero. Another one of our worst fears had been realized. Chad and I reacted with what could only be termed, "hysterical confusion." We just laughed and shook uncontrollably - because yes, of course. It just made sense after living through a tornado two days prior that we would now have this happen.
I was admitted to the hospital that day and started on steroid shots to help develop Brynn's lungs. I got a lot of visitors, told our tornado story, even met with one of the insurance guys in the hospital, so I was productive at least. The next night I couldn't sleep. I noticed she just wasn't moving around as much as she normally was and knew she was coming soon. I told the dr that next morning - November 21, four days post tornado. He put me back on a monitor and the team quickly agreed her patterns were a bit too sleepy. One of my des from Maternal Fetal stopped by and told me we were going to labor and delivery that morning, and we were going to do a c-section because they didn't want to out the baby through the stress of labor - plus we simply didn't have the time. It wasn't technically an emergency c-section, but we did bump some people out of the way...
About 15 minutes later I was wheeled into the OR and I met Dr Teverbaugh for the first time. I was incredibly scared at this point. Scared for Brynn, and scared for me, having never been through a real surgery. I told my doctor through tears that I had already cheated death once that week. It felt like maybe this was going to be my sacrifice or my compromise to have gotten her into this world safely. Everyone knew our story and I don't think I was the only one in that room crying.
The surgery itself was bizarre. I had the spinal tap done and can still vividly remember the pulling feeling as they were getting Brynn out. She didn't cry right away. Apparently that was normal for preemies. They cleaned her up and ran their tests and she cried. Probably the greatest sound I'd ever heard. They left me snuggle her for maybe a minute before she was whisked off to the NICU. It was two days before I could hold her again.
Brynn was born at 8:49 a.m. She was 4 lbs, 15 oz and 17 1/4 inches long. Brynn immediately had a double exchange blood transfusion. The first did not take and the process was lengthy. She bathed under the blue lights for many days to reduce the jaundice she had as a result of the anemia. She had a brain scan which showed the possibility that she had not gotten enough oxygen during birth. She would be tested again upon release. She had poor circulation and problems remembering to breathe. She was on oxygen and ate a special nutrient through a feeding tube. She began clearing several hurdles - an open crib, no oxygen. Eventually she was moved to the intermediate area of the NICU and spent several weeks learning how to drink a bottle. She ended up needing another blood transfusion during which she wasn't allowed to eat for about 12 hours during.
Brynn spent 30 days in the NICU. Chad and I took turns sitting with her every day. Today, on her original due date, she is 7 lbs, 15 oz and 20.5 inches long. She's almost on a normal growth curve, and she's healthy. Her only complaint is an umbilical hernia that will hopefully go away on its own over the next year. And she's got one heck of a birth story.
To say this was the most trying time in our lives is probably an understatement. But Brynn is home in our new house now and we are starting fresh as a family of four. I don't think any of us will take each other or any thing for granted, ever. We will get comfortable again, but have a constant reminder that out of every tragedy comes a new beginning. Brynn is our new beginning.
So normally this is no big deal, but I had two of them - Big C and d. Chad was also positive for them, so we ended up with frequent visits to a specialist at Maternal Fetal. Every other week I had my blood drawn to see what levels the antibodies were. The opposite weeks were spent getting detailed sonograms. The main concern with these antibodies is that the baby could become anemic. If the baby becomes too anemic she is at risk for hydrops - or heart failure. She would have to receive a blood transfusion in utero if this were the case. The sonos measured the blood volume in her brain and also looked for puffiness of her body, particularly her chest - both strong indicators of anemia.
The antibodies are measured in a ratio. One of mine stayed low throughout, but the other, Big C, kept gradually increasing. At one visit, I believe somewhere around 29 weeks, Brynn's blood volume spiked over the normal level. We waited the weekend, but it was still high when I went back in. That day I had an amniocentesis done. This test - involving a stupidly large needle in my uterus - showed us that Brynn had the Big C antigen too, and her risk level for becoming anemic was in "Zone 2." Zone 1 was low risk, Zone 3 was, "we have a problem." So, no action at this point, we were bumped up to twice a week sonos and told we'd do multiple amnios to see if she was getting better or worse. At that point we were still optimistic that it wouldn't be an issue. My antibody titers (the ratio that measures the antibodies) were still relatively low at 1:128.
Then the unthinkable. Chad, Aiden and I survived an EF4 tornado by huddling in a corner of our basement. Talk about unmaking all of our plans and all of the hard work that we had put into making that house our home... But that was another blog.
I had the baby checked out the next day since I had taken a couple falls getting through the debris. Luckily, the baby seemed fine so we went about filing insurance claims and trying to rebuild our lives.
The next day, I had a sono scheduled. We went in and saw that the blood volume had again spiked. Another amino, this time one that our dr had rushed the results for. In a somber tone, he announced to Chad and I that Brynn's risk factor had jumped significantly into Zone 3. Showing us that there was definitely a problem, and that it wasn't getting better. We were told that our baby would be here within the next 10 days - we were past the point of doing a blood transfusion in utero. Another one of our worst fears had been realized. Chad and I reacted with what could only be termed, "hysterical confusion." We just laughed and shook uncontrollably - because yes, of course. It just made sense after living through a tornado two days prior that we would now have this happen.
I was admitted to the hospital that day and started on steroid shots to help develop Brynn's lungs. I got a lot of visitors, told our tornado story, even met with one of the insurance guys in the hospital, so I was productive at least. The next night I couldn't sleep. I noticed she just wasn't moving around as much as she normally was and knew she was coming soon. I told the dr that next morning - November 21, four days post tornado. He put me back on a monitor and the team quickly agreed her patterns were a bit too sleepy. One of my des from Maternal Fetal stopped by and told me we were going to labor and delivery that morning, and we were going to do a c-section because they didn't want to out the baby through the stress of labor - plus we simply didn't have the time. It wasn't technically an emergency c-section, but we did bump some people out of the way...
About 15 minutes later I was wheeled into the OR and I met Dr Teverbaugh for the first time. I was incredibly scared at this point. Scared for Brynn, and scared for me, having never been through a real surgery. I told my doctor through tears that I had already cheated death once that week. It felt like maybe this was going to be my sacrifice or my compromise to have gotten her into this world safely. Everyone knew our story and I don't think I was the only one in that room crying.
The surgery itself was bizarre. I had the spinal tap done and can still vividly remember the pulling feeling as they were getting Brynn out. She didn't cry right away. Apparently that was normal for preemies. They cleaned her up and ran their tests and she cried. Probably the greatest sound I'd ever heard. They left me snuggle her for maybe a minute before she was whisked off to the NICU. It was two days before I could hold her again.
Brynn was born at 8:49 a.m. She was 4 lbs, 15 oz and 17 1/4 inches long. Brynn immediately had a double exchange blood transfusion. The first did not take and the process was lengthy. She bathed under the blue lights for many days to reduce the jaundice she had as a result of the anemia. She had a brain scan which showed the possibility that she had not gotten enough oxygen during birth. She would be tested again upon release. She had poor circulation and problems remembering to breathe. She was on oxygen and ate a special nutrient through a feeding tube. She began clearing several hurdles - an open crib, no oxygen. Eventually she was moved to the intermediate area of the NICU and spent several weeks learning how to drink a bottle. She ended up needing another blood transfusion during which she wasn't allowed to eat for about 12 hours during.
Brynn spent 30 days in the NICU. Chad and I took turns sitting with her every day. Today, on her original due date, she is 7 lbs, 15 oz and 20.5 inches long. She's almost on a normal growth curve, and she's healthy. Her only complaint is an umbilical hernia that will hopefully go away on its own over the next year. And she's got one heck of a birth story.
To say this was the most trying time in our lives is probably an understatement. But Brynn is home in our new house now and we are starting fresh as a family of four. I don't think any of us will take each other or any thing for granted, ever. We will get comfortable again, but have a constant reminder that out of every tragedy comes a new beginning. Brynn is our new beginning.
Monday, December 16, 2013
November 17, 2013
It's been a month. I'm just now able to talk about it without shaking uncontrollably.
We survived an EF4 tornado. We shouldn't have.
That Sunday morning we were upstairs putting up the Christmas tree. We knew the baby would be coming soon and were trying to have as much done as possible. I had been talking to my mom that morning - telling her not to go to Pekin because they were talking about severe weather - and Pekin is always getting hit.
When the sirens went off we headed for the basement. Aiden had been running a fever that morning and running around in a diaper and shirt so I asked Chad to run back up and get pants and socks for him. We had the news on the tv in the basement. Listening to it, we thought it was more in the East Peoria / Creve Couer area - no mention of Washington. I got up to go to the bathroom - 'cus that's what you do when you're 32 weeks and 2 days pregnant. The power went out and I was angry since I was in a dark room with my pants down. When I got out and rounded the corner I sat back on the couch for maybe 30 seconds when Chad heard it. It sounded like a loud, gushing wind or torrential downpour, not the freight train everyone talks about. He looked at me and said "Move." He grabbed Aiden and went into the room at the front, right of our basement under the dining room. He locked Sydney, our dog, in her crate. I went for the tornado kit under the stairs. No sooner did I get back in the room, when we heard it hit.
Chad and I knelt in the corner with Aiden on his lap and tightly snuggled in between our locked arms. We heard things being knocked around upstairs. Breaking glass and ripping apart our house. But we didn't know that at the time. I looked at Aiden, thinking it was going to be for the last time and remember saying, "we're going to say a prayer." But I don't remember actually praying (yet I'm sure I was). I then looked at Chad and asked, "is this really happening," to which he confirmed, "yes, it's really happening."
One of my worst fears realized, the tornado passed after what seemed like an eternity. We heard water gushing in the other room and we were sitting in a cloud of dust - a smell I will never forget - drywall and destruction. But we were alive. At the time I didn't think it was that bad. The room around us was intact. The only thing I could see was the staircase, the wall of which had moved some. But I still didn't expect the devastation that actually ensued.
Chad told me to stay put and he went to shut off the water. I opened the tornado kit to assess what I actually had. I handed Aiden the flashlight to turn on and be in charge of. The poor kid had shut down. He didn't talk, didn't cry, did exactly as he was told. I can only imagine what was going through his mind as I was shaking and fumbling with the batteries for the weather radio. Not sure what I thought having that on would do. I got through to 911, but couldn't reach Chad's or my mom. I was worried about all of our family and friends - not knowing how big or small this thing was. Wanting to let everyone know that we were ok.
I wrapped Aiden in a blanket and told him to hold on to his Mickey Mouse and the flashlight and that everything was going to be ok. Then we heard things start to fall above us. Chad had been frantically looking for blankets and ties to fashion temporary shoes, fully expecting what we would be walking out into. Not knowing what condition the subfloor was in, Chad again told me it was time to move. I immediately ran to the staircase - not thinking. I made it almost to the top, super pregnant and carrying a 35 lb toddler when I fell. Chad yelled at me to come back down, because we couldn't go that way. Had I made it to the top and pushed on that door, that wall may have come down. I'm completely convinced that something (someone) made me fall. I caught myself on my elbows, not even hurting Aiden or the baby.
Redirected, I head to the basement window. It had blown out and blocked the ladder in the egress. Chad had found something to cover the glass on the ground there and at the top of the window. I lifted Aiden up to him and then crawled in the window well. Chad had to pull me out since I had no ladder and minimal upper body strength on top of an extra 30 lbs of baby weight.
When I got out, I saw it all for the first time. In front of me there was debris - insulation, wood, drywall, stuffed animals, clothing... Everywhere. It was something I could not (still cannot) comprehend or explain or even describe. It was a disaster in every sense of the word. You see it in the movies or videos or pictures. Nothing does it justice until you literally step into it.
With no shoes on, Chad told me to sit with Aiden. I hadn't looked behind me at the house - just stared out into what had been my backyard. I sat in the living room, or on the subfloor of what used to be my living room, with Aiden on my lap. Somehow our phones connected and our friend Josh, who lives on the other side of 24, said he was at our house. He watched the tornado hit, jumped in his car and drove as far over as he could, then ran the rest of the way to help us. Had we been trapped in the basement, I'm convinced he would have gotten us out. He gave me the shoes off his feet and the two of them jumped into action, finding shoes under the rubble to put on and get us out of there. We then became aware of the gas that was pouring out from where our fireplace once stood and we needed to leave.
I tripped and fell again, this time only somewhat catching myself. We walked from our house down the back of the street and down Westminster. I turned around at one point and took a picture of what was left of my house, thinking that this was the only way I would know which one was ours. It was still daylight. And eerily quiet. I looked at our neighbor's house and prayed they were not in there. There was nothing left. We walked down what used to be the street and saw people wandering around, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Josh drove us back to his house and got us settled. We waited for family to arrive - once we finally got through to them on our cell phones. Then the guys went back to the house to see if Sydney was alright and see if they could save anything. In our panic to get out, I left her in the crate. Luckily she was fine, and now on doggie anxiety medicine.
I haven't been back. The closest I've gotten is Main St. I haven't driven through town. It's surreal to see that there are houses untouched. I don't expect to return to the site anytime soon. The one half wall that remained of our house is gone and the wreckage is stripped to the foundation.
We saved what we could. Both of our wedding rings were found in the rubble. Chad's PS4 Christmas present on the second floor, which made him internet famous. Our fire box with all of the backed up pictures, passports, SS cards, etc. Computer hard drive, an oddly ironic willow figurine depicting the three of us... All from the second floor. The things that were lost that matter and cannot be replaced are much more difficult - all of Aiden's baby things, family heirlooms, handmade quilts, souvenirs from every trip we've ever been on, unity candle, etc. There is nothing left from Aiden's or Brynn's room - the fact that this storm hit during the day is a complete blessing. Though I'm quite confident I will never sleep during a storm again.
But, it's still just stuff. We will build new memories (and a storm shelter). The important things - my husband, son and now daughter (who arrived a mere four days later), are safe. I get to watch these two grow up. A phenomenon I will never take for granted. My only rationale for walking away from this storm with just bruises is that there is more for us to do. Our daughter needed to make it into this world. Now we need to thank the people who helped us in what will hopefully be the darkest hour we ever have to face. To live life to the fullest and cherish the time we have. The healing process will take a while. Chad and I have both panicked hearing airplanes or gushes of wind. Aiden is a little out of sorts, but doesn't seem to remember it.
But as Josh said, our home did it's job. It kept us safe. And for that we will always be thankful.
Sent from my iPad
We survived an EF4 tornado. We shouldn't have.
That Sunday morning we were upstairs putting up the Christmas tree. We knew the baby would be coming soon and were trying to have as much done as possible. I had been talking to my mom that morning - telling her not to go to Pekin because they were talking about severe weather - and Pekin is always getting hit.
When the sirens went off we headed for the basement. Aiden had been running a fever that morning and running around in a diaper and shirt so I asked Chad to run back up and get pants and socks for him. We had the news on the tv in the basement. Listening to it, we thought it was more in the East Peoria / Creve Couer area - no mention of Washington. I got up to go to the bathroom - 'cus that's what you do when you're 32 weeks and 2 days pregnant. The power went out and I was angry since I was in a dark room with my pants down. When I got out and rounded the corner I sat back on the couch for maybe 30 seconds when Chad heard it. It sounded like a loud, gushing wind or torrential downpour, not the freight train everyone talks about. He looked at me and said "Move." He grabbed Aiden and went into the room at the front, right of our basement under the dining room. He locked Sydney, our dog, in her crate. I went for the tornado kit under the stairs. No sooner did I get back in the room, when we heard it hit.
Chad and I knelt in the corner with Aiden on his lap and tightly snuggled in between our locked arms. We heard things being knocked around upstairs. Breaking glass and ripping apart our house. But we didn't know that at the time. I looked at Aiden, thinking it was going to be for the last time and remember saying, "we're going to say a prayer." But I don't remember actually praying (yet I'm sure I was). I then looked at Chad and asked, "is this really happening," to which he confirmed, "yes, it's really happening."
One of my worst fears realized, the tornado passed after what seemed like an eternity. We heard water gushing in the other room and we were sitting in a cloud of dust - a smell I will never forget - drywall and destruction. But we were alive. At the time I didn't think it was that bad. The room around us was intact. The only thing I could see was the staircase, the wall of which had moved some. But I still didn't expect the devastation that actually ensued.
Chad told me to stay put and he went to shut off the water. I opened the tornado kit to assess what I actually had. I handed Aiden the flashlight to turn on and be in charge of. The poor kid had shut down. He didn't talk, didn't cry, did exactly as he was told. I can only imagine what was going through his mind as I was shaking and fumbling with the batteries for the weather radio. Not sure what I thought having that on would do. I got through to 911, but couldn't reach Chad's or my mom. I was worried about all of our family and friends - not knowing how big or small this thing was. Wanting to let everyone know that we were ok.
I wrapped Aiden in a blanket and told him to hold on to his Mickey Mouse and the flashlight and that everything was going to be ok. Then we heard things start to fall above us. Chad had been frantically looking for blankets and ties to fashion temporary shoes, fully expecting what we would be walking out into. Not knowing what condition the subfloor was in, Chad again told me it was time to move. I immediately ran to the staircase - not thinking. I made it almost to the top, super pregnant and carrying a 35 lb toddler when I fell. Chad yelled at me to come back down, because we couldn't go that way. Had I made it to the top and pushed on that door, that wall may have come down. I'm completely convinced that something (someone) made me fall. I caught myself on my elbows, not even hurting Aiden or the baby.
Redirected, I head to the basement window. It had blown out and blocked the ladder in the egress. Chad had found something to cover the glass on the ground there and at the top of the window. I lifted Aiden up to him and then crawled in the window well. Chad had to pull me out since I had no ladder and minimal upper body strength on top of an extra 30 lbs of baby weight.
When I got out, I saw it all for the first time. In front of me there was debris - insulation, wood, drywall, stuffed animals, clothing... Everywhere. It was something I could not (still cannot) comprehend or explain or even describe. It was a disaster in every sense of the word. You see it in the movies or videos or pictures. Nothing does it justice until you literally step into it.
With no shoes on, Chad told me to sit with Aiden. I hadn't looked behind me at the house - just stared out into what had been my backyard. I sat in the living room, or on the subfloor of what used to be my living room, with Aiden on my lap. Somehow our phones connected and our friend Josh, who lives on the other side of 24, said he was at our house. He watched the tornado hit, jumped in his car and drove as far over as he could, then ran the rest of the way to help us. Had we been trapped in the basement, I'm convinced he would have gotten us out. He gave me the shoes off his feet and the two of them jumped into action, finding shoes under the rubble to put on and get us out of there. We then became aware of the gas that was pouring out from where our fireplace once stood and we needed to leave.
I tripped and fell again, this time only somewhat catching myself. We walked from our house down the back of the street and down Westminster. I turned around at one point and took a picture of what was left of my house, thinking that this was the only way I would know which one was ours. It was still daylight. And eerily quiet. I looked at our neighbor's house and prayed they were not in there. There was nothing left. We walked down what used to be the street and saw people wandering around, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Josh drove us back to his house and got us settled. We waited for family to arrive - once we finally got through to them on our cell phones. Then the guys went back to the house to see if Sydney was alright and see if they could save anything. In our panic to get out, I left her in the crate. Luckily she was fine, and now on doggie anxiety medicine.
I haven't been back. The closest I've gotten is Main St. I haven't driven through town. It's surreal to see that there are houses untouched. I don't expect to return to the site anytime soon. The one half wall that remained of our house is gone and the wreckage is stripped to the foundation.
We saved what we could. Both of our wedding rings were found in the rubble. Chad's PS4 Christmas present on the second floor, which made him internet famous. Our fire box with all of the backed up pictures, passports, SS cards, etc. Computer hard drive, an oddly ironic willow figurine depicting the three of us... All from the second floor. The things that were lost that matter and cannot be replaced are much more difficult - all of Aiden's baby things, family heirlooms, handmade quilts, souvenirs from every trip we've ever been on, unity candle, etc. There is nothing left from Aiden's or Brynn's room - the fact that this storm hit during the day is a complete blessing. Though I'm quite confident I will never sleep during a storm again.
But, it's still just stuff. We will build new memories (and a storm shelter). The important things - my husband, son and now daughter (who arrived a mere four days later), are safe. I get to watch these two grow up. A phenomenon I will never take for granted. My only rationale for walking away from this storm with just bruises is that there is more for us to do. Our daughter needed to make it into this world. Now we need to thank the people who helped us in what will hopefully be the darkest hour we ever have to face. To live life to the fullest and cherish the time we have. The healing process will take a while. Chad and I have both panicked hearing airplanes or gushes of wind. Aiden is a little out of sorts, but doesn't seem to remember it.
But as Josh said, our home did it's job. It kept us safe. And for that we will always be thankful.
Sent from my iPad
Monday, September 3, 2012
The Return of the Blog...
So it only took until September, but I'm finally making my first post of 2012... Oops.
I forgot that I kind of enjoy writing for fun, so hopefully this is the first of more frequent updates. They are pretty interesting to read back.
Where to start? With the obvious of course. I've spent the last year eating, sleeping and breathing BABY! I cannot believe he will be a year old tomorrow. Everyone says it passes by in the blink of an eye and that is honestly what it feels like. Life before Aiden doesn't seem to exist anymore. He is the most amazing little person. It's been so much fun watching him grow and learn things, all while me and his dad have been growing and learning too!
At one year... Aiden is pretty much walking. He can make it across a room, but then either giggles or loses balance and reverts to crawling. I may be in denial, but I'm still not saying he's "officially" walking. Aiden is a picky eater (no idea where he got that from) if it's chunky, he's not interested. We like all the baby foods, string cheese, Cheerios, yogurt, graham crackers... But when it comes to "real" people food, we are not yet a fan. He didn't even want his birthday cake!!! I'm sure that will change in time though! Aiden has 3 teeth and he's working on the 4th. He still says three words - mama, dada and car, and sometimes what we think is dog. His laugh is the most infectious sound in the world. He is super ticklish (again, don't know where he got that from). He's between 12 and 18 month clothes and in size 4 diapers. Aiden is without a doubt the most amazing and precious gift I could have ever been blessed with.
On a personal note, I also made the whole breastfeeding thing work for 12 long months. I'm extremely proud of that accomplishment, but I'm also super excited for copious amounts of caffeine, margaritas, Victoria's Secret and prescription drugs!
There are not enough hours in the day to spend with my little man, but I know he's happy, and we're all doing the best we can. Maybe someday I'll be in a position where I can stay home with him, but I have a feeling with the toddler years now upon us... Breaks away from the home might not be such a bad thing! I thought the first year kept me busy... And I know there is going to be SO much more ahead, good and bad, to look forward to. But all in all, I'm very happy. And that's the best place to be.
I forgot that I kind of enjoy writing for fun, so hopefully this is the first of more frequent updates. They are pretty interesting to read back.
Where to start? With the obvious of course. I've spent the last year eating, sleeping and breathing BABY! I cannot believe he will be a year old tomorrow. Everyone says it passes by in the blink of an eye and that is honestly what it feels like. Life before Aiden doesn't seem to exist anymore. He is the most amazing little person. It's been so much fun watching him grow and learn things, all while me and his dad have been growing and learning too!
At one year... Aiden is pretty much walking. He can make it across a room, but then either giggles or loses balance and reverts to crawling. I may be in denial, but I'm still not saying he's "officially" walking. Aiden is a picky eater (no idea where he got that from) if it's chunky, he's not interested. We like all the baby foods, string cheese, Cheerios, yogurt, graham crackers... But when it comes to "real" people food, we are not yet a fan. He didn't even want his birthday cake!!! I'm sure that will change in time though! Aiden has 3 teeth and he's working on the 4th. He still says three words - mama, dada and car, and sometimes what we think is dog. His laugh is the most infectious sound in the world. He is super ticklish (again, don't know where he got that from). He's between 12 and 18 month clothes and in size 4 diapers. Aiden is without a doubt the most amazing and precious gift I could have ever been blessed with.
On a personal note, I also made the whole breastfeeding thing work for 12 long months. I'm extremely proud of that accomplishment, but I'm also super excited for copious amounts of caffeine, margaritas, Victoria's Secret and prescription drugs!
There are not enough hours in the day to spend with my little man, but I know he's happy, and we're all doing the best we can. Maybe someday I'll be in a position where I can stay home with him, but I have a feeling with the toddler years now upon us... Breaks away from the home might not be such a bad thing! I thought the first year kept me busy... And I know there is going to be SO much more ahead, good and bad, to look forward to. But all in all, I'm very happy. And that's the best place to be.
Friday, December 30, 2011
2011 Highlights
With only a few exceptions, 2011 was a pretty great year. Here are some of the highlights (too many to fit in a status update):
No resolutions for 2012, just going to watch my little guy grow and see what life has in store for me next!
- Spent 3/4 of the year pregnant
- Welcomed my sweet baby boy into the world
- Took a 3 month vacation in my living room
- Experienced a miracle
- Felt literally every emotion possible, multiple times
- Started a new job in a new building
- Made new friends; strengthened bonds with old ones; and said goodbye to others
- Gained and lost 45 lbs
- Chopped off my hair
- Watched my sister get married to a great guy
- First ever overnight stay at a hospital
- Shed more tears in one year than I have in probably the last 5
- Let myself take risks and spoke my mind
- Laughed every day; found humor in things I never thought I would
- Renewed my passion for life and love
No resolutions for 2012, just going to watch my little guy grow and see what life has in store for me next!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Do I Have To??
The last three months have been spent smooching chubby baby cheeks, trying to get laughs by making silly faces and sounds, play dates, snuggling and essentially being at baby's beck and call 24x7. A never ending to-do list and continued lack of sleep keeps me on my toes. Baby continues to grow (12 lbs, 14.5 oz and 24" tall at his 2 month check up) and learns new things every day.
On Thursday I go back to work.
While a part of me is looking forward to reconnecting with friends and adults in general... I'm dreading not getting to stare at Aiden's little face for those 40 hours a week. I've teared up every time I've thought about it over the last week or so, and now it's really close. I'm packing up stuff I know he'll need at day care, trying to figure out what I'm going to wear the first day back to work (knowing all eyes will check out where that baby bump used to be) and hoping I'll remember how to speak to other working professionals without slipping into baby-speak.
So I guess I just need to figure out how to be ok with doing it all. Have to work to provide for my baby's future... pay the bills, get to do fun stuff like baby music class and all of the things he's going to want to do when he gets older. I think it's the right thing for me (even my grandma thinks so), but it's going to be extremely emotional. Here's hoping I get through the first day in one piece!
Other randomness...
At 12 weeks old Aiden smiles, laughs, coos and drools, follows and bats at objects, is starting to grasp toys, can do a mini push-up on his tummy and is gaining better control over his head and neck. He kicks like crazy and can support his weight on his legs with some help from mom or dad. He's started sleeping longer/better since he moved into his crib. He loves his giraffe, Christmas lights, the penguin mural in his room and that cutie who stares back at him in the mirror.
I love, love, love my baby and he's truly priority #1. I had a dream last night that our house was hit by a tornado and I dove into the crib over top of the baby and we were spun outside and landed on the ground. I broke just about every bone in my body, but the baby was safe and sound... then we got to be on Ellen... lol. Maybe I have been watching too much daytime tv...
Could you deprive this face of anything?
On Thursday I go back to work.
While a part of me is looking forward to reconnecting with friends and adults in general... I'm dreading not getting to stare at Aiden's little face for those 40 hours a week. I've teared up every time I've thought about it over the last week or so, and now it's really close. I'm packing up stuff I know he'll need at day care, trying to figure out what I'm going to wear the first day back to work (knowing all eyes will check out where that baby bump used to be) and hoping I'll remember how to speak to other working professionals without slipping into baby-speak.
So I guess I just need to figure out how to be ok with doing it all. Have to work to provide for my baby's future... pay the bills, get to do fun stuff like baby music class and all of the things he's going to want to do when he gets older. I think it's the right thing for me (even my grandma thinks so), but it's going to be extremely emotional. Here's hoping I get through the first day in one piece!
Other randomness...
At 12 weeks old Aiden smiles, laughs, coos and drools, follows and bats at objects, is starting to grasp toys, can do a mini push-up on his tummy and is gaining better control over his head and neck. He kicks like crazy and can support his weight on his legs with some help from mom or dad. He's started sleeping longer/better since he moved into his crib. He loves his giraffe, Christmas lights, the penguin mural in his room and that cutie who stares back at him in the mirror.
I love, love, love my baby and he's truly priority #1. I had a dream last night that our house was hit by a tornado and I dove into the crib over top of the baby and we were spun outside and landed on the ground. I broke just about every bone in my body, but the baby was safe and sound... then we got to be on Ellen... lol. Maybe I have been watching too much daytime tv...
Could you deprive this face of anything?
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Is that Blood on the Baby? No... It's Jello
I really can't begin to describe all the changes to life in the last nearly three weeks. But I'm going to hit the highlights...
Breastfeeding. It sucks. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Sure, it's free, but it's very inconvenient and it hurts!! I've officially lost count as to how many people have seen my... well you know. I've also been compared to a cow... but at least they're a lot more impressive to look at!
EVERY thing is harder. Today I learned to put on makeup with my left hand while cradling/feeding the baby at the same time. My 20-minute morning showers are a thing of the past. Getting out of the house takes at least twice as long. Eating is a whole new challenge. If it's a one-handed meal that's not messy, I can handle it, but if it's not... (queue blog title) red jello on the baby... oops =)
I miss sleep. I took sleep for granted. I haven't slept for more than a 4 hour block in 18 days. And it hurts. It takes a lot of sleep to keep up my typical energy level. Yuck. It'll get better, but I didn't realize how much I needed those 9 hours! What I wouldn't give for just one night...
Best diet ever. Have a baby, lose some weight! I've already lost nearly 30 pounds. Can even zip up my pre-pregnancy jeans... but they definitely don't fit by any means.
Bodily functions. Happened much quicker than I expected. I've been pooped and peed on and it doesn't even phase me. This one surprised me. Now I cheer when my baby poops - go figure!
Insane worry. I worried about a lot of stuff before, but now being solely responsible for an 8 lb infant... wow. Responsibility kinda sky-rocketed out of control. I worry about him more at night than any other time. I'm still afraid I'm not going to wake up if he needs me. He's having some choking spells after feedings - sometimes up to 40 minutes after he's done. THAT is scary. Not sure what's causing it yet, might still be learning how to breathe... tricky business that breathing.
Love. Unconditional, love at first sight, stronger than anything I've ever felt before in my life love. So completely happy, lucky, grateful, fulfilled... yay!
Breastfeeding. It sucks. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Sure, it's free, but it's very inconvenient and it hurts!! I've officially lost count as to how many people have seen my... well you know. I've also been compared to a cow... but at least they're a lot more impressive to look at!
EVERY thing is harder. Today I learned to put on makeup with my left hand while cradling/feeding the baby at the same time. My 20-minute morning showers are a thing of the past. Getting out of the house takes at least twice as long. Eating is a whole new challenge. If it's a one-handed meal that's not messy, I can handle it, but if it's not... (queue blog title) red jello on the baby... oops =)
I miss sleep. I took sleep for granted. I haven't slept for more than a 4 hour block in 18 days. And it hurts. It takes a lot of sleep to keep up my typical energy level. Yuck. It'll get better, but I didn't realize how much I needed those 9 hours! What I wouldn't give for just one night...
Best diet ever. Have a baby, lose some weight! I've already lost nearly 30 pounds. Can even zip up my pre-pregnancy jeans... but they definitely don't fit by any means.
Bodily functions. Happened much quicker than I expected. I've been pooped and peed on and it doesn't even phase me. This one surprised me. Now I cheer when my baby poops - go figure!
Insane worry. I worried about a lot of stuff before, but now being solely responsible for an 8 lb infant... wow. Responsibility kinda sky-rocketed out of control. I worry about him more at night than any other time. I'm still afraid I'm not going to wake up if he needs me. He's having some choking spells after feedings - sometimes up to 40 minutes after he's done. THAT is scary. Not sure what's causing it yet, might still be learning how to breathe... tricky business that breathing.
Love. Unconditional, love at first sight, stronger than anything I've ever felt before in my life love. So completely happy, lucky, grateful, fulfilled... yay!
How could you not love that face?
Watch out, he might have gotten some of my charming personality traits... looks like he's up to something! ;)
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Baby Aiden is Here!!!
He's here!!! And if I do say so myself, he is absolutely perfect. He's cute as a button and totally healthy. I know an update is long overdue, so let's start at the beginning!
I went in to be induced on Saturday the 3rd. The first drug they gave me was supposed to take 12 hours to work, but instead it worked too well and they pulled me off of that at only five hours. I got a little bit of sleep and they came in to start the petocin at 2 a.m. The petocin worked really well too and they had to keep decreasing the amount I was given because contractions were consistently two minutes apart and the intensity was picking up. There was some concern with the baby's heartbeat because it decreased every time I got out of bed - so they flipped me from side to side and kept a real close eye on us. Later that morning I got the epidural (total non-event by the way - the botched IV I got hurt way worse). However at about 7 cm dialated, the epidural wore off on the left side of my body and I felt every minute and a half contraction for close to 30 minutes. I bawled my eyes out - they hurt so bad. So they upped my drugs to the max and from there it was smooth sailing. I did some "practice pushes" once I got to 10 cm, because they thought I wouldn't be able to push with all the drugs, but apparently "I'm a natural" - lol. My doctor almost didn't make it and we had to skip a few contractions. Baby was out in about 30 minutes. The whole process took around 23 hours - which for an induction is pretty good I guess. I think there was some scary stuff that happened with the umbilical cord when he was born that nobody told me about, but I plan to ask some questions at my 6 week checkup. So was it as bad as I thought? Short answer - nope. The amount of responsibility that came once he was born is about a billion times more scary.
Since then it's been all about baby! The first night home was rough. Having only gotten about 7 hours of sleep in the previous 3 nights - I was getting a bit irrational (still am one week later...). The nights are the worst because I'm so worried that something will happen to him while I'm sleeping. I do wake up at every little sound, but I spend a good portion of the day sobbing about whether or not he's going to be ok. Everything checked out at the pediatrician and he really is perfectly healthy, but wow I didn't realize how much I'd worry - like seriously... But he's eating well, sleeping in spells around the clock and going through a whole lotta diapers!
I was also worried about not having any nicknames for him, but I've already come up with a few - Mr. Stinky, Baby A, Mr. Bobblehead, Blue Eyes, Squirmy.....
But Aiden is the sweetest most precious thing ever and I am so so glad he's finally here. I've still got a lot of hormones to flush out of my system, but I already love him more than anything ever. He's a piece of me - all the best parts.
I went in to be induced on Saturday the 3rd. The first drug they gave me was supposed to take 12 hours to work, but instead it worked too well and they pulled me off of that at only five hours. I got a little bit of sleep and they came in to start the petocin at 2 a.m. The petocin worked really well too and they had to keep decreasing the amount I was given because contractions were consistently two minutes apart and the intensity was picking up. There was some concern with the baby's heartbeat because it decreased every time I got out of bed - so they flipped me from side to side and kept a real close eye on us. Later that morning I got the epidural (total non-event by the way - the botched IV I got hurt way worse). However at about 7 cm dialated, the epidural wore off on the left side of my body and I felt every minute and a half contraction for close to 30 minutes. I bawled my eyes out - they hurt so bad. So they upped my drugs to the max and from there it was smooth sailing. I did some "practice pushes" once I got to 10 cm, because they thought I wouldn't be able to push with all the drugs, but apparently "I'm a natural" - lol. My doctor almost didn't make it and we had to skip a few contractions. Baby was out in about 30 minutes. The whole process took around 23 hours - which for an induction is pretty good I guess. I think there was some scary stuff that happened with the umbilical cord when he was born that nobody told me about, but I plan to ask some questions at my 6 week checkup. So was it as bad as I thought? Short answer - nope. The amount of responsibility that came once he was born is about a billion times more scary.
Since then it's been all about baby! The first night home was rough. Having only gotten about 7 hours of sleep in the previous 3 nights - I was getting a bit irrational (still am one week later...). The nights are the worst because I'm so worried that something will happen to him while I'm sleeping. I do wake up at every little sound, but I spend a good portion of the day sobbing about whether or not he's going to be ok. Everything checked out at the pediatrician and he really is perfectly healthy, but wow I didn't realize how much I'd worry - like seriously... But he's eating well, sleeping in spells around the clock and going through a whole lotta diapers!
I was also worried about not having any nicknames for him, but I've already come up with a few - Mr. Stinky, Baby A, Mr. Bobblehead, Blue Eyes, Squirmy.....
But Aiden is the sweetest most precious thing ever and I am so so glad he's finally here. I've still got a lot of hormones to flush out of my system, but I already love him more than anything ever. He's a piece of me - all the best parts.
Striking a Pose! Totally my kid. =)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Longest.Week.Ever.
In less than 48 hours I'll start the induction process to have this baby.
Knowing this is both a good and a bad thing. Good for obvious reasons - I know at some point this weekend I'll be holding my baby in my arms. Bad because I know the labor part is coming, and that's all I can think about... it's been a REALLY long week. I did some google research and scared the crap out of myself reading other people's induction stories. Work is wrapping up so that's not a real good distraction anymore either. And everywhere I go people ask me about it. Some random dude at Wal-Mart asked me if I was "smuggling in a basketball." Ha. Yeah, clearly that's what I'm doing!
I am a little nervous about how having a baby is going to change me. Priorities, lifestyle, etc. Again, goes back to the whole "having no idea what to expect." I'm sure it'll be fine, just have to get there...
I will point out that not only am I working up to the day before I get induced, I still take the stairs AND do the laundry. I am woman - hear me roar. =)
Overall I am crazy excited. And hey I'll have my own stories and advice to blog about by the time it's all said and done. Ya know, in all the free time I'll have between changing diapers and feeding. =P I'm told there's not much... who knew!? Regardless, next post will include baby pictures!! Wish me luck!
Knowing this is both a good and a bad thing. Good for obvious reasons - I know at some point this weekend I'll be holding my baby in my arms. Bad because I know the labor part is coming, and that's all I can think about... it's been a REALLY long week. I did some google research and scared the crap out of myself reading other people's induction stories. Work is wrapping up so that's not a real good distraction anymore either. And everywhere I go people ask me about it. Some random dude at Wal-Mart asked me if I was "smuggling in a basketball." Ha. Yeah, clearly that's what I'm doing!
I am a little nervous about how having a baby is going to change me. Priorities, lifestyle, etc. Again, goes back to the whole "having no idea what to expect." I'm sure it'll be fine, just have to get there...
I will point out that not only am I working up to the day before I get induced, I still take the stairs AND do the laundry. I am woman - hear me roar. =)
Overall I am crazy excited. And hey I'll have my own stories and advice to blog about by the time it's all said and done. Ya know, in all the free time I'll have between changing diapers and feeding. =P I'm told there's not much... who knew!? Regardless, next post will include baby pictures!! Wish me luck!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Confession Time
Since I almost literally can't think about anything other than this baby.... here's a confession.
I am absolutely freaking out about the actual "having the baby" part of the process. Forget not knowing what to do with the baby once he gets here - that I'm confident I'll figure out... but I keep having dreams and day dreams about an emergency c-section because the baby's too big or that something goes wrong during the delivery. It occurred to me today (as I was crying the entire drive home from the doctor's office), that this is the scariest part to me. I have no real idea of what to expect and it's the whole - fear of the unknown thing. Plus, the fact that it could happen at any time without any real warning also freaks me out.
The most invasive procedure I've ever had done is getting my wisdom teeth out - and I can't even imagine that child birth compares. I'm a total wimp - that's no secret. I will whole-heartedly say YES to the drugs when they're offered. But I have no idea what to expect. I'm in some serious physical pain as it is with my pelvic bone stretching out (TMI?) And to think about how much worse that pain is going to get???
So there it is... I'm a big chicken and I'm really really scared! I should find out tomorrow what day I'll be induced if I don't go on my own before... but still - that's about two weeks from now. And I'm not ready for it!! I get that people have been doing this since the beginning of time... but I wasn't one of them! Gah!!!! :-(
I am absolutely freaking out about the actual "having the baby" part of the process. Forget not knowing what to do with the baby once he gets here - that I'm confident I'll figure out... but I keep having dreams and day dreams about an emergency c-section because the baby's too big or that something goes wrong during the delivery. It occurred to me today (as I was crying the entire drive home from the doctor's office), that this is the scariest part to me. I have no real idea of what to expect and it's the whole - fear of the unknown thing. Plus, the fact that it could happen at any time without any real warning also freaks me out.
The most invasive procedure I've ever had done is getting my wisdom teeth out - and I can't even imagine that child birth compares. I'm a total wimp - that's no secret. I will whole-heartedly say YES to the drugs when they're offered. But I have no idea what to expect. I'm in some serious physical pain as it is with my pelvic bone stretching out (TMI?) And to think about how much worse that pain is going to get???
So there it is... I'm a big chicken and I'm really really scared! I should find out tomorrow what day I'll be induced if I don't go on my own before... but still - that's about two weeks from now. And I'm not ready for it!! I get that people have been doing this since the beginning of time... but I wasn't one of them! Gah!!!! :-(
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Baby A... Take a Good Look
With only 45 days left on the epic Baby Fouts countdown clock (hopefully less) the reality of the "situation" is definitely setting in. Yesterday I got to see my baby's face. Granted, it's a yellow image, only half visible because it's smooshed inside my body... but it definitely gave me a better idea of what the little guy is going to look like.
According to the sono tech, he has hair. He weighs 5 pounds, 5 ounces (give or take a pound in either direction). His head is currently in the 98th percentile - measuring more like 36 weeks instead of 33 weeks. But overall he's in the 60th percentile, which may mean he is a week and a half to two weeks ahead of schedule still. However, when the doctor comes in and asks, "so are you trying to have a bigger than average baby?" - you can't help but worry about how he's going to get out! Most importantly though, he grew into his kidneys, which was the last of the concerns at the maternal fetal center. His heart and brain and all the other internal organs are functioning exactly how they're supposed to be - a big sigh of relief on our part. Now to address Chad's dream of me delivering puppies instead of a baby....
Of course I continue to have emotional breakdowns. I did really good for a few weeks, then yesterday happened. Seeing the baby's face kinda set me off and it got a little out of control from there. As in, I started crying because I left my flip flops at home and we had to turn the car around to get them. YIKES - lol. At least I can laugh at myself... right!?!
Either way, in another 6 weeks or so, I'm going to fall in love with someone I've just met... and I seriously can't wait. In the last 8 months I've experienced a WIDE range of emotions... excitement, fear, avoidance, disappointment, acceptance, sheer giddiness... seriously crazy hormones affecting all areas of my life. But now I'm looking forward to the not-so-distant future like never before. Bring on the sleep deprivation.
According to the sono tech, he has hair. He weighs 5 pounds, 5 ounces (give or take a pound in either direction). His head is currently in the 98th percentile - measuring more like 36 weeks instead of 33 weeks. But overall he's in the 60th percentile, which may mean he is a week and a half to two weeks ahead of schedule still. However, when the doctor comes in and asks, "so are you trying to have a bigger than average baby?" - you can't help but worry about how he's going to get out! Most importantly though, he grew into his kidneys, which was the last of the concerns at the maternal fetal center. His heart and brain and all the other internal organs are functioning exactly how they're supposed to be - a big sigh of relief on our part. Now to address Chad's dream of me delivering puppies instead of a baby....
Of course I continue to have emotional breakdowns. I did really good for a few weeks, then yesterday happened. Seeing the baby's face kinda set me off and it got a little out of control from there. As in, I started crying because I left my flip flops at home and we had to turn the car around to get them. YIKES - lol. At least I can laugh at myself... right!?!
Either way, in another 6 weeks or so, I'm going to fall in love with someone I've just met... and I seriously can't wait. In the last 8 months I've experienced a WIDE range of emotions... excitement, fear, avoidance, disappointment, acceptance, sheer giddiness... seriously crazy hormones affecting all areas of my life. But now I'm looking forward to the not-so-distant future like never before. Bring on the sleep deprivation.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
For Crying Out Loud
I've never cried so much in my life as I have in the past seven months. It's gotten worse in the last few weeks. I cry when I'm sick, happy, sad, bored... I cry when the dogs refuse to listen to me. I cry when I pinch my finger in the pantry door. I even cry for no apparent reason whatsoever. I know I've whined about the hormone thing before, but I really do feel like I'm stuck somewhere inside this body and can't do a thing but sit back and watch the drama unfold.
Friday marks 30 weeks of being pregnant. 3/4 of the way done. Crunch time. Better kick nesting into high gear. Pack my bags... you get the idea.
My husband asked me the other day, "how much longer is that t-shirt going to fit?" Oh no he didn't. Well guess what - that t-shirt will now be worn as a belly shirt for the duration of the pregnancy (it fits perfectly fine now by the way). He will be lucky if I don't deliver in it just to spite him...Yeah, I'm getting bigger. Is it my fault baby loves ice cream and cotton candy??
A couple of lists...
Top five things about being preggers:
Friday marks 30 weeks of being pregnant. 3/4 of the way done. Crunch time. Better kick nesting into high gear. Pack my bags... you get the idea.
My husband asked me the other day, "how much longer is that t-shirt going to fit?" Oh no he didn't. Well guess what - that t-shirt will now be worn as a belly shirt for the duration of the pregnancy (it fits perfectly fine now by the way). He will be lucky if I don't deliver in it just to spite him...Yeah, I'm getting bigger. Is it my fault baby loves ice cream and cotton candy??
A couple of lists...
Top five things about being preggers:
- Curves for the first time in my life
- Random people smiling at my bump or opening doors for me
- Watching my belly move (pretty sure I've seen a knee or elbow poking out)
- Planning/preparing/waiting for baby to arrive and letting all the possibilities consume me
- Some ridiculously vivid dreams (most recently - hottie vampire Eric from True Blood drinking my blood as I enjoyed a bowl of ice cream)
- Squeezing through small spaces
- Physical activity of any kind
- Bending at the waist
- Margaritas
- A normal body temperature
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Looking Forward
Hello blog, it's been a while! I've been busy with all kinds of stuff and in the process - getting more and more optimistic and hopeful for the future. A few things have changed recently giving me even more to look forward to, and changing up a few other things for the better...
I had a dream last night that I had my baby on the 16th of some month. He weighed 6 lbs 10 oz and was 19.5 inches long. Specific? Uh, yeah. I'm switching careers if I get even one of those right!
The nursery is coming along. We've got a bunch of stuff in there from the first baby shower with both sides of the family (which was tons of fun). Once it's cleaned up I'll take some more pictures.
Said baby is kicking more and more often. One particularly hard kick the other day came during a phone call at work and caught me completely off guard. It actually hurt, and I stumbled over some words. Oh, and I'm getting bigger, losing my memory and balance and already getting antsy for delivery day. I have the glucose test this week and if I pass I'm celebrating by eating the giant gummy bear on a stick Krystal got me...
In an upcoming blog I'll officially unveil the baby name. Pretty set on the first name; narrowing down the middle. I'll give you a hint, it's not Bruno or James Van Der Beek II. Don't be disappointed!
You've probably been wondering what my belly button looks like too, haven't you. It hasn't popped out yet, but we're getting close! And yes, they make belly button baby bling. Who knew?! =)
I had a dream last night that I had my baby on the 16th of some month. He weighed 6 lbs 10 oz and was 19.5 inches long. Specific? Uh, yeah. I'm switching careers if I get even one of those right!
The nursery is coming along. We've got a bunch of stuff in there from the first baby shower with both sides of the family (which was tons of fun). Once it's cleaned up I'll take some more pictures.
Said baby is kicking more and more often. One particularly hard kick the other day came during a phone call at work and caught me completely off guard. It actually hurt, and I stumbled over some words. Oh, and I'm getting bigger, losing my memory and balance and already getting antsy for delivery day. I have the glucose test this week and if I pass I'm celebrating by eating the giant gummy bear on a stick Krystal got me...
In an upcoming blog I'll officially unveil the baby name. Pretty set on the first name; narrowing down the middle. I'll give you a hint, it's not Bruno or James Van Der Beek II. Don't be disappointed!
You've probably been wondering what my belly button looks like too, haven't you. It hasn't popped out yet, but we're getting close! And yes, they make belly button baby bling. Who knew?! =)
Thursday, May 19, 2011
"Hey pal, eyes up here!" ...And Other Pregnancy Woes
I've wanted a baby for a while now. Now that the bun is in the oven... I could really be over the whole "being pregnant" thing (16 weeks to go).
I get a lot more attention now. And it's not the kind I want. I'm identified now by "the bump." Men stare at it (at least I think they're staring at it, could be my other growing assets I guess, *snicker, snicker*). I've been referred to as "the pregnant one" more than a couple times now. Today I found out that there's a person in my life who thinks I'm incapable of doing something, "because I'm pregnant."
Well I'm here to tell the world that most of the time, I forget I'm pregnant. If it weren't for the frequent trips to the restroom and a belly that's suddenly in my way all the time... I could block it out and get plenty of other things done. Not only am I capable of creating and carrying a tiny little person in my body for 9 months... but I look damn good doing it. There's not a thing that I can't do. Sure, there's the medically restricted stuff like don't drink alcohol or get a tattoo... but you get the point. So when it comes to something simple like working 50 hours a week or planning a party? BRING IT. If you expect to see me barefoot and in the kitchen baking a pie, you better not hold your breath.
My new favorite quote by the way...
So to those who think I'm just hormonal all the time? Please see above. =)
Can you tell this got me all riled up? I hope I don't seem ungrateful or anything like that. I couldn't be happier that there's a little guy just chilling inside, waiting til he gets a little cuter to come out and grace the world with his presence...
But save the special treatment. I don't need it.
I get a lot more attention now. And it's not the kind I want. I'm identified now by "the bump." Men stare at it (at least I think they're staring at it, could be my other growing assets I guess, *snicker, snicker*). I've been referred to as "the pregnant one" more than a couple times now. Today I found out that there's a person in my life who thinks I'm incapable of doing something, "because I'm pregnant."
Well I'm here to tell the world that most of the time, I forget I'm pregnant. If it weren't for the frequent trips to the restroom and a belly that's suddenly in my way all the time... I could block it out and get plenty of other things done. Not only am I capable of creating and carrying a tiny little person in my body for 9 months... but I look damn good doing it. There's not a thing that I can't do. Sure, there's the medically restricted stuff like don't drink alcohol or get a tattoo... but you get the point. So when it comes to something simple like working 50 hours a week or planning a party? BRING IT. If you expect to see me barefoot and in the kitchen baking a pie, you better not hold your breath.
My new favorite quote by the way...
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
So to those who think I'm just hormonal all the time? Please see above. =)
Can you tell this got me all riled up? I hope I don't seem ungrateful or anything like that. I couldn't be happier that there's a little guy just chilling inside, waiting til he gets a little cuter to come out and grace the world with his presence...
But save the special treatment. I don't need it.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Ode to My Belly Button
My belly button has always been an "innie." One of the first things I noticed with the whole 'getting pregnant' thing (ya know, outside of the baby bump) - is the ever so slight change to my poor belly button... it's a lot more shallow now and I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time before it pops out the other direction.
I got my belly button pierced when I was 17. It hurt a lot and I passed out almost immediately after. In my defense, it was a BIG needle... and I'm a total wuss. Anyway, I've found some super flexible belly button rings that should allow me to keep it pierced throughout the pregnancy (so claims the website). I've got a tiny one in now, and I've already got one that says, "It's a Boy" on the end of it. It's a good two inches long. You're supposed to be able to cut to fit, but I do have to wonder... who is the person that actually needs the full two inches? Less than 19 weeks left, there's NO way... at least I hope!
So, Belly Button, dear little friend. You've been a part of me for quite some time now. I'm confident that you'll return to your natural innie position, sporting the shiny beads that once drew attention to my once tiny tummy. Until then, Belly Button!
I got my belly button pierced when I was 17. It hurt a lot and I passed out almost immediately after. In my defense, it was a BIG needle... and I'm a total wuss. Anyway, I've found some super flexible belly button rings that should allow me to keep it pierced throughout the pregnancy (so claims the website). I've got a tiny one in now, and I've already got one that says, "It's a Boy" on the end of it. It's a good two inches long. You're supposed to be able to cut to fit, but I do have to wonder... who is the person that actually needs the full two inches? Less than 19 weeks left, there's NO way... at least I hope!
So, Belly Button, dear little friend. You've been a part of me for quite some time now. I'm confident that you'll return to your natural innie position, sporting the shiny beads that once drew attention to my once tiny tummy. Until then, Belly Button!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Preg-osaurus Ashley...
Easily the most feared creature on the planet for the next 22 weeks... she'll be the sweetest, kindest and most caring of animals one moment... and the next?
She gets a little moody (maybe a little hungry...) and WILL bite your head off if you get in her way.
She'll burst into tears at the drop of a hat (she still has feelings), and yes, she'll go full circle before you know what hit you.
In fact, you might not even see it coming... (Hint: Try not to move... she can't see you if you're not moving! However, you are much easier for her to catch the closer you are!)
She gets a little moody (maybe a little hungry...) and WILL bite your head off if you get in her way.
She'll burst into tears at the drop of a hat (she still has feelings), and yes, she'll go full circle before you know what hit you.
In fact, you might not even see it coming... (Hint: Try not to move... she can't see you if you're not moving! However, you are much easier for her to catch the closer you are!)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Comfort Food
There's more than just one food that comforts or puts me in a better mood. Since I have a bit of a sweet tooth, I'm pretty easy to please.
M&Ms and strawberry cheesecake are probably my go-to comfort foods. Tonight the quickest choice to ease a rough day was a shamrock shake. Yeah it's my second one this week... oops. Doesn't make it any less comforting.
I'm a bit more predictable than I'd like. One thing you might not have expected? (I sure didn't) This baby thing is freaking me the crap out. There's a list of 27,000 baby names on a single website. I don't have time to look through 27,000 baby names, much less pick ONE that this kid is going to be stuck with. Once I know if it's a boy or a girl that will help... I'm also partial to 'A' names... probably because mine starts with an A (as does the word, AWESOME). Plus I want it to mean something cool. I do have a boy name that I like (starts with an A), but nothing I'm super excited about yet if it's a girl.
The friggin' hospital also called tonight to pre-register me... I'm not having this baby until September... unless they've got another idea in mind. THAT freaks me out even more! Plus I've got a second set of fingernails and an extra heart, brain and every other internal organ, growing inside my body. Creepy... sure hope it likes McDonald's...
I don't mean to seem ungrateful. It's just overwhelming to think about... of course a lot of things are. At least there's no sign of a chocolate or strawberry cheesecake shortage...
M&Ms and strawberry cheesecake are probably my go-to comfort foods. Tonight the quickest choice to ease a rough day was a shamrock shake. Yeah it's my second one this week... oops. Doesn't make it any less comforting.
I'm a bit more predictable than I'd like. One thing you might not have expected? (I sure didn't) This baby thing is freaking me the crap out. There's a list of 27,000 baby names on a single website. I don't have time to look through 27,000 baby names, much less pick ONE that this kid is going to be stuck with. Once I know if it's a boy or a girl that will help... I'm also partial to 'A' names... probably because mine starts with an A (as does the word, AWESOME). Plus I want it to mean something cool. I do have a boy name that I like (starts with an A), but nothing I'm super excited about yet if it's a girl.
The friggin' hospital also called tonight to pre-register me... I'm not having this baby until September... unless they've got another idea in mind. THAT freaks me out even more! Plus I've got a second set of fingernails and an extra heart, brain and every other internal organ, growing inside my body. Creepy... sure hope it likes McDonald's...
I don't mean to seem ungrateful. It's just overwhelming to think about... of course a lot of things are. At least there's no sign of a chocolate or strawberry cheesecake shortage...
Thursday, February 24, 2011
The Baby Story
I'm still Kind of a Bad Ash... just with a baby! I'm about 12 weeks pregnant, due September 9.
I've kept this very big secret (for the most part) since the beginning of the year. In fact, I've been keeping a secret since late 2009, because that's how long we've been trying to get pregnant. It took 15 months and a ton of tests to figure out what the deal was. Months 6 - 12 I took a progesterone supplement... then we tried clomid, more hormones and tummy shots... I took my temperature every morning for over a year... in December we switched to the big guns and tried a combo of hormone creams - the last option before venturing down the in-vitro route. Luckily, the hormones did the trick. There were some hiccups early on, but three sonograms later, everything is looking great.
I spent a lot of time being very frustrated over the past year. I pretty much felt like a failure... and a whole lot of disappointment and confusion surrounded that. You'd never know it though - this girl puts on a happy face. Until recently of course... these pregnancy hormones are making me a bit crazy. =)
So anyway, it was a rough 15 months, but since January 2, I've been on top of the world. Filled with worry about the baby, yes, but that's at least normal and rational.
The past two months I've felt pretty good. Nausueus about 90% of the time, hungry ALL the time, frequent potty breaks and my pants are getting tighter. No weight gain yet, but I hear it's coming, lol.
Baby's heartbeat at 12 weeks was 155 bpm and measured 6 centimeters. Right now it's measuring 6 days bigger than it's supposed to be. Sounds like we'll find out if it's a boy or a girl on March 28. Place your bets now!
I've kept this very big secret (for the most part) since the beginning of the year. In fact, I've been keeping a secret since late 2009, because that's how long we've been trying to get pregnant. It took 15 months and a ton of tests to figure out what the deal was. Months 6 - 12 I took a progesterone supplement... then we tried clomid, more hormones and tummy shots... I took my temperature every morning for over a year... in December we switched to the big guns and tried a combo of hormone creams - the last option before venturing down the in-vitro route. Luckily, the hormones did the trick. There were some hiccups early on, but three sonograms later, everything is looking great.
I spent a lot of time being very frustrated over the past year. I pretty much felt like a failure... and a whole lot of disappointment and confusion surrounded that. You'd never know it though - this girl puts on a happy face. Until recently of course... these pregnancy hormones are making me a bit crazy. =)
So anyway, it was a rough 15 months, but since January 2, I've been on top of the world. Filled with worry about the baby, yes, but that's at least normal and rational.
The past two months I've felt pretty good. Nausueus about 90% of the time, hungry ALL the time, frequent potty breaks and my pants are getting tighter. No weight gain yet, but I hear it's coming, lol.
Baby's heartbeat at 12 weeks was 155 bpm and measured 6 centimeters. Right now it's measuring 6 days bigger than it's supposed to be. Sounds like we'll find out if it's a boy or a girl on March 28. Place your bets now!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Remember When...
One of the activities during my TWO weeks off of work so far has been watching movies... lots of movies. It's one of my favorite things to do. Anyway, one of the movies was "Now and Then." I've seen it before of course, but today it got me thinking of all the fun things I used to do when I was a kid, and how priorities have changed over the years.
Grade school consisted of countless sleepovers with friends - playing light as a feather, stiff as a board. Riding your bike everywhere, playing hide and seek, staying close to home. Life before cell phones *gasp*. Having a new best friend every other week.
In junior high and high school it gradually switched to boys. I settled in with a group of friends who shared interests and classes. Passing notes with gossip and dirty jokes on them. I kept a ridiculous amount of them (see below). Reading through them... it's amazing the stuff we wrote on a piece of paper and passed in the hallway... Hours spent talking on the phone (pre-texting - again, *gasp*). More sleepovers, group dates, break-ups, first love, drama.
In college there were a number of memorable experiences. "Sweet Ass Suitemates," living in the world's crappiest house... oh and getting a college education of course. Seeing the dancing deer head in the back of a truck that we swore up and down was a real deer (in reality it was stupid college boys playing a prank), late night trips to Walmart, dancing in the street in a penguin costume, house parties and nights out (once I was 21 obviously)...
In adult life it's work, doing whatever I want, spending time with co-workers who became friends, catching up with the life-long friends kept from grade school, junior high, high school and college, spending time with the new friends I've met since. Priorities have changed. Life seems to get more serious with more responsibilities and bigger decisions... the upside? I'm still having a pretty good time. =)
Grade school consisted of countless sleepovers with friends - playing light as a feather, stiff as a board. Riding your bike everywhere, playing hide and seek, staying close to home. Life before cell phones *gasp*. Having a new best friend every other week.
In junior high and high school it gradually switched to boys. I settled in with a group of friends who shared interests and classes. Passing notes with gossip and dirty jokes on them. I kept a ridiculous amount of them (see below). Reading through them... it's amazing the stuff we wrote on a piece of paper and passed in the hallway... Hours spent talking on the phone (pre-texting - again, *gasp*). More sleepovers, group dates, break-ups, first love, drama.
In college there were a number of memorable experiences. "Sweet Ass Suitemates," living in the world's crappiest house... oh and getting a college education of course. Seeing the dancing deer head in the back of a truck that we swore up and down was a real deer (in reality it was stupid college boys playing a prank), late night trips to Walmart, dancing in the street in a penguin costume, house parties and nights out (once I was 21 obviously)...
In adult life it's work, doing whatever I want, spending time with co-workers who became friends, catching up with the life-long friends kept from grade school, junior high, high school and college, spending time with the new friends I've met since. Priorities have changed. Life seems to get more serious with more responsibilities and bigger decisions... the upside? I'm still having a pretty good time. =)
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Yeah, I Dance in My Kitchen
So as I'm busting a move to a commercial playing, "You can get with this, or you can get with that" while packing tomorrow's lunch... my sister walks in and comments, "there's just never a dull moment in this house." Even though it's just me, my husband, two dogs and a cat, we're a fairly amusing bunch.
So that made me think about the last two days spent indoors thanks to the weather. During that time...
So that made me think about the last two days spent indoors thanks to the weather. During that time...
- I cried watching Father of the Bride.
- The puppy farted so bad that I literally looked around the room for a pile of steaming poop. And this happened more than once...
- I had a Veronica Mars marathon, and was very upset to find out that there is no Season 4.
- I hid this month's edition of Cosmo when company came over... nobody needs to know I still read that (oops) or have a subscription (double oops).
- Tried to teach the puppy how to shake. Instead, she picks up her food bowl and carries it around... "please sir, can I have some more?"
- I cleaned the entire house and used my new glass cleaner thingy from Norwex that made my cleaning activities way more fun (as I kept saying, "wow! come look at this!). I even cleaned the ceiling fan in the master bedroom - me wobbling around on top of the bed was a site to see I'm sure.
- Watched both dogs go outside in the blizzard. They were NOT happy, until they found the big pile of blown snow in the corner to play in.
- I thought about wrapping Christmas presents and working on a craft project... and decided laying on the couch sounded like a better idea.
- Recovered most of the day Saturday from a really fun Friday night Christmas party... from which one of our cars is STILL downtown, lol
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