For Crying Out Loud

I've never cried so much in my life as I have in the past seven months.  It's gotten worse in the last few weeks. I cry when I'm sick, happy, sad, bored... I cry when the dogs refuse to listen to me.  I cry when I pinch my finger in the pantry door.  I even cry for no apparent reason whatsoever.  I know I've whined about the hormone thing before, but I really do feel like I'm stuck somewhere inside this body and can't do a thing but sit back and watch the drama unfold.

Friday marks 30 weeks of being pregnant.  3/4 of the way done.  Crunch time.  Better kick nesting into high gear.  Pack my bags... you get the idea.

My husband asked me the other day, "how much longer is that t-shirt going to fit?"  Oh no he didn't.  Well guess what - that t-shirt will now be worn as a belly shirt for the duration of the pregnancy (it fits perfectly fine now by the way).  He will be lucky if I don't deliver in it just to spite him...Yeah, I'm getting bigger.  Is it my fault baby loves ice cream and cotton candy??

A couple of lists...

Top five things about being preggers:

• Curves for the first time in my life
• Random people smiling at my bump or opening doors for me
• Watching my belly move (pretty sure I've seen a knee or elbow poking out)
• Planning/preparing/waiting for baby to arrive and letting all the possibilities consume me
• Some ridiculously vivid dreams (most recently - hottie vampire Eric from True Blood drinking my blood as I enjoyed a bowl of ice cream)

Top five things I miss and can't wait to get back to in ~10 weeks:

• Squeezing through small spaces
• Physical activity of any kind
• Bending at the waist
• Margaritas
• A normal body temperature

Looking Forward

Hello blog, it's been a while!  I've been busy with all kinds of stuff and in the process - getting more and more optimistic and hopeful for the future.  A few things have changed recently giving me even more to look forward to, and changing up a few other things for the better...

I had a dream last night that I had my baby on the 16th of some month.  He weighed 6 lbs 10 oz and was 19.5 inches long.  Specific?  Uh, yeah.  I'm switching careers if I get even one of those right!

The nursery is coming along.  We've got a bunch of stuff in there from the first baby shower with both sides of the family (which was tons of fun).  Once it's cleaned up I'll take some more pictures. 

Said baby is kicking more and more often.  One particularly hard kick the other day came during a phone call at work and caught me completely off guard.  It actually hurt, and I stumbled over some words.  Oh, and I'm getting bigger, losing my memory and balance and already getting antsy for delivery day.  I have the glucose test this week and if I pass I'm celebrating by eating the giant gummy bear on a stick Krystal got me...

In an upcoming blog I'll officially unveil the baby name.  Pretty set on the first name; narrowing down the middle.  I'll give you a hint, it's not Bruno or James Van Der Beek II.  Don't be disappointed!

You've probably been wondering what my belly button looks like too, haven't you.  It hasn't popped out yet, but we're getting close!  And yes, they make belly button baby bling.  Who knew?! =)

"Hey pal, eyes up here!" ...And Other Pregnancy Woes

I've wanted a baby for a while now.  Now that the bun is in the oven... I could really be over the whole "being pregnant" thing (16 weeks to go).

I get a lot more attention now.  And it's not the kind I want.  I'm identified now by "the bump."  Men stare at it (at least I think they're staring at it, could be my other growing assets I guess, *snicker, snicker*).  I've been referred to as "the pregnant one" more than a couple times now.  Today I found out that there's a person in my life who thinks I'm incapable of doing something, "because I'm pregnant."

Well I'm here to tell the world that most of the time, I forget I'm pregnant.  If it weren't for the frequent trips to the restroom and a belly that's suddenly in my way all the time... I could block it out and get plenty of other things done.  Not only am I capable of creating and carrying a tiny little person in my body for 9 months... but I look damn good doing it.  There's not a thing that I can't do.  Sure, there's the medically restricted stuff like don't drink alcohol or get a tattoo... but you get the point.  So when it comes to something simple like working 50 hours a week or planning a party?  BRING IT.  If you expect to see me barefoot and in the kitchen baking a pie, you better not hold your breath.

My new favorite quote by the way...

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."  

So to those who think I'm just hormonal all the time?  Please see above. =)

Can you tell this got me all riled up?  I hope I don't seem ungrateful or anything like that.  I couldn't be happier that there's a little guy just chilling inside, waiting til he gets a little cuter to come out and grace the world with his presence...

But save the special treatment.  I don't need it.

Ode to My Belly Button

My belly button has always been an "innie."  One of the first things I noticed with the whole 'getting pregnant' thing (ya know, outside of the baby bump) - is the ever so slight change to my poor belly button... it's a lot more shallow now and I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time before it pops out the other direction. 

I got my belly button pierced when I was 17.  It hurt a lot and I passed out almost immediately after.  In my defense, it was a BIG needle... and I'm a total wuss.  Anyway, I've found some super flexible belly button rings that should allow me to keep it pierced throughout the pregnancy (so claims the website).  I've got a tiny one in now, and I've already got one that says, "It's a Boy" on the end of it.  It's a good two inches long.  You're supposed to be able to cut to fit, but I do have to wonder... who is the person that actually needs the full two inches?  Less than 19 weeks left, there's NO way... at least I hope!

So, Belly Button, dear little friend.  You've been a part of me for quite some time now.  I'm confident that you'll return to your natural innie position, sporting the shiny beads that once drew attention to my once tiny tummy.  Until then, Belly Button!

Preg-osaurus Ashley...

Easily the most feared creature on the planet for the next 22 weeks... she'll be the sweetest, kindest and most caring of animals one moment... and the next? 

She gets a little moody (maybe a little hungry...) and WILL bite your head off if you get in her way. 

She'll burst into tears at the drop of a hat (she still has feelings), and yes, she'll go full circle before you know what hit you. 

In fact, you might not even see it coming...  (Hint:  Try not to move... she can't see you if you're not moving!  However, you are much easier for her to catch the closer you are!)

Comfort Food

There's more than just one food that comforts or puts me in a better mood.  Since I have a bit of a sweet tooth, I'm pretty easy to please. 

M&Ms and strawberry cheesecake are probably my go-to comfort foods.  Tonight the quickest choice to ease a rough day was a shamrock shake.  Yeah it's my second one this week... oops.  Doesn't make it any less comforting.

I'm a bit more predictable than I'd like.  One thing you might not have expected? (I sure didn't)  This baby thing is freaking me the crap out.  There's a list of 27,000 baby names on a single website.  I don't have time to look through 27,000 baby names, much less pick ONE that this kid is going to be stuck with.  Once I know if it's a boy or a girl that will help... I'm also partial to 'A' names... probably because mine starts with an A (as does the word, AWESOME).  Plus I want it to mean something cool.  I do have a boy name that I like (starts with an A), but nothing I'm super excited about yet if it's a girl.

The friggin' hospital also called tonight to pre-register me... I'm not having this baby until September... unless they've got another idea in mind.  THAT freaks me out even more!  Plus I've got a second set of fingernails and an extra heart, brain and every other internal organ, growing inside my body.  Creepy... sure hope it likes McDonald's...

I don't mean to seem ungrateful.  It's just overwhelming to think about... of course a lot of things are.  At least there's no sign of a chocolate or strawberry cheesecake shortage...

The Baby Story

I'm still Kind of a Bad Ash... just with a baby!  I'm about 12 weeks pregnant, due September 9.

I've kept this very big secret (for the most part) since the beginning of the year.  In fact, I've been keeping a secret since late 2009, because that's how long we've been trying to get pregnant.  It took 15 months and a ton of tests to figure out what the deal was.  Months 6 - 12 I took a progesterone supplement... then we tried clomid, more hormones and tummy shots... I took my temperature every morning for over a year... in December we switched to the big guns and tried a combo of hormone creams - the last option before venturing down the in-vitro route.  Luckily, the hormones did the trick.  There were some hiccups early on, but three sonograms later, everything is looking great.

I spent a lot of time being very frustrated over the past year.  I pretty much felt like a failure... and a whole lot of disappointment and confusion surrounded that.  You'd never know it though - this girl puts on a happy face.  Until recently of course... these pregnancy hormones are making me a bit crazy.  =) 

So anyway, it was a rough 15 months, but since January 2, I've been on top of the world.  Filled with worry about the baby, yes, but that's at least normal and rational. 

The past two months I've felt pretty good.  Nausueus about 90% of the time, hungry ALL the time, frequent potty breaks and my pants are getting tighter.  No weight gain yet, but I hear it's coming, lol. 

Baby's heartbeat at 12 weeks was 155 bpm and measured 6 centimeters.  Right now it's measuring 6 days bigger than it's supposed to be.   Sounds like we'll find out if it's a boy or a girl on March 28.  Place your bets now!